🗂️ [[Indices/Sources]] # I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD 📰 **The author shares their journey of overcoming intrusive thoughts and OCD, initially mistaking their symptoms for more serious conditions like schizophrenia.** 📇 [[Dana Da Silva]] 🏛️ news.com.au 🔗 https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/i-was-petrified-i-was-a-paedophile-but-i-had-ocd/news-story/ee54b01c656437d66e0f99bae83fe55d  > [!check] Finished Reading > **Last read**: Wednesday, 22 May 2024 > **My rating**: 10 out of 10 > _A simple read about a complex issue._ >[!abstract] > `= this.abstract` 🔑 [[obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)|OCD]] 👉🏼 Dana Da Silva (2024-05-02). *[[Dana Da Silva - I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD|I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD]]*. news.com.au. [Link](https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/i-was-petrified-i-was-a-paedophile-but-i-had-ocd/news-story/ee54b01c656437d66e0f99bae83fe55d) %% ## 📝 Notes ## 📃 Selected Quotes ## 📋 Table of Contents ## 📖 Annotations %% # **Template**: [[Book Search Template]] **Created**: [[2024-05-22|Wednesday 22 May 2024]] **Published**: [[2024-05-02|Thursday 02 May 2024]] **Updated**: 13:03 [[2024-05-22|Wednesday 22 May 2024]] ## Readwise Highlights and Notes ### Imported from [[Readwise]] on [[2024-05-22]] There was a time in my life when I was petrified that I already was, or would become, a paedophile. I also feared being a murderer or incestuous, and ruminated on those possibilities, searching for answers – for some sort of confirmation that the thoughts were real or not. ([[Dana Da Silva - I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD|Da Silva, 2 May 2024]], [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d6t9855m7deyem6gr2t0p)) ^623331 It never occurred to me that what I was dealing with was [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder](https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/surge-in-nsw-residents-seeking-treatment-for-ocd/news-story/517d4924e6ae93e88184368457279b90) (OCD), because I understood OCD to be repetitive physical rituals related to hygiene or organisation – the stereotype. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d71nrcrzv4tq9xn578a7p)) Mental health misconceptions, resulting from a lack of awareness and education, are the reason I went so long without diagnosis and treatment. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d7fghet3k332xpmv8fhhd)) I know, if I’d had a simple understanding of ‘[intrusive thoughts](https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/mental-health/woman-28-on-the-reality-of-having-obsessive-compulsive-disorder/news-story/5a1d73b788d7bce641e45c0220de7646)’, OCD wouldn’t have been able to shame me into the silence it did; I would have reached out for support before those negative neural pathways were so deeply ingrained. ([[Dana Da Silva - I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD|Da Silva, 2 May 2024]], [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d7nmbzx36nn6b9hb8ej6k)) ^bceca2 We need to be able to identify when our minds are starting to betray us, early on in the piece, and not when it’s out of hand or too late. Early intervention is key, and dependent upon an individual being able to recognise signs and symptoms. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d8g6k7gz0efkpp00zv4v0)) I learned that everyone in the world has intrusive thoughts to some degree, but someone with OCD gives power to those thoughts. OCD types fixate on them, worry about their significance, become ashamed of them. OCD mostly involves irrational anxieties. For example, ‘what if this violent thought means I’ll kill someone?’ ([[Dana Da Silva - I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD|Da Silva, 2 May 2024]], [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d8qfkgfexha6sm9jbg0cb)) ^d81671 Of course therein lies one of the most dangerous misconceptions regarding OCD, that compulsions are always physical, external behaviours, when in actuality they can be mental, internal, hidden from the world. ([[Dana Da Silva - I was petrified I was a paedophile but I had OCD|Da Silva, 2 May 2024]], [View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d8v99rerahfgn003xjav6)) I gained an arsenal of knowledge and weapons to help me combat my OCD, learning how to ‘let the thoughts come and let them go’, drifting past me like the wind, trying not to give them the emotional response that I had been. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hx3d8xbwk0ywh30asyfkmn07)) According to the [World Health Organisation](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlZixBhCoARIsAIC745CX5NJs_tLqiryeGRAxoNDmLUoFq4-RpfDcfmbxjfwq_IGbIj1S4CUaAiNKEALw_wcB), more than 700,000 people die due to suicide every year. The organisation also notes that one of the barriers to effective care is the social stigma associated with mental disorders. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hyf0cenp4mvx6505sbn882a1)) I told only a few people about my OCD diagnosis for this reason and until just recently, most of my family and friends had no idea of what I went through. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hyf0cgyzjz4kpfbn10d138kp)) I ‘came out’ of the mental health closet in brazen fashion, publishing a tell-all memoir about my OCD experience, leaving most of my loved ones in shock. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hyf0ckn193s1r9z9jzebybat)) Hitting publish was traumatising. It triggered an OCD flare. But it was like a giant band-aid being ripped off. A fuck you to the stigma. Flipping the bird to shame. Setting my story free so that maybe people will stop trivialising OCD and making jokes about being ‘a bit OCD’ if they like things neat and tidy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hyf0cqz39wjpb8xqzevfsnvj))